Funeral Information
Questions about funerals and what to do when a loved one passes.
The death of a loved one is a time of sorrow and profound grief. It is also a time when our Christian faith in the Resurrection of Christ can offer great comfort and allow us to experience grace in the midst of sadness. The prayerful rituals of the Catholic Church at the time of death are meant to bring hope and consolation to family members and friends even as they commend the soul of the deceased person to the loving mercy of God.
Our Lady of Fatima parish offers the following list of questions and answers in the hope that it will help family members better understand the way we celebrate funerals and assist them as they prepare to celebrate the funeral of their loved one in the most fitting way possible.
Why a Catholic Funeral – Parts 1 and 2
1. Call the parish at 206.283.1456, Father Raether or a staff member will walk you through the process. They will confirm which dates/times the priest is available for the funeral liturgy. We celebrate funerals on Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays at either 9am, 9:30am, 10am, 10:30am or 11am.
2. Notify immediate family members who are not already present. Even before the funeral arrangements are confirmed, someone should telephone those most closely affected by the death. Follow up calls with details can be done later, either personally or through a trusted friend or relative.
3. Contact a funeral director to make arrangements for the body to be taken to the funeral home. Set up an appointment with the funeral home and let the representative know which date and time Fr. Raether is available for the Funeral Mass. If you need help finding a funeral home, please call the parish office and we will be happy to provide a recommendation.
What is a Catholic funeral Mass?
The funeral Mass is the normal way the Catholic Church commemorates a person’s death. At the funeral Mass, family, friends, and parishioners gather to pray for the deceased and for the deceased person’s family and friends using scripture readings, prayers, and special rites. Because the Eucharist is the memorial of Christ’s own saving death and resurrection, it is the most appropriate way to celebrate at the time of death.
Are Catholic funerals always celebrated at Mass?
No. In some instances it can be quite appropriate to celebrate a funeral outside the Mass. This is commonly done, for example, when all or most of the family members of the deceased are not Catholic. Another example would be the funeral of a non-Catholic person who was married to a Catholic and had no other church affiliation. In both cases, a Liturgy of the Word without the celebration of the Eucharist is appropriate.
Who presides at funeral celebrations?
Normally, the pastor presides at the funeral Mass. There are exceptions, however; for instance, if the family of the deceased has a priest who is a relative or a very close friend, he might be asked to preside. Also, a deacon may preside at a funeral outside of the Mass.
Does the casket need to be present at the funeral?
If at all possible, the remains of the deceased should be present during the funeral Mass in order for the Church’s full rites for the dead to be celebrated.
Does the Church permit cremation?
The Church does permit cremation although it does not accord it the same value as burial of the body. And even in the case when cremation is going to take place, the Church has a strong and clear preference for bringing the body of the deceased to the Church for the funeral and delaying the cremation until afterwards. The reason for this is set forth in the Church’s Order for Christian Funerals: “The Christian faithful are unequivocally confronted by the mystery of life and death when they are faced with the presence of the body of one who has died… The body was once washed in the waters of baptism, anointed with the oil of salvation, and fed with the Bread of life. The presence of the body brings forcefully to mind the Church’s conviction that the human body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, destined for future glory at the resurrection of the dead.”
The Hike – Cremation Journey
Yes, the cremated remains, enclosed in a worthy container or urn, are brought to the Church for the funeral. During the funeral they are placed in an ossuary which is a dignified, wooden box with handles so it can be carried in procession. After the funeral, they are buried in the ground or entombed in a mausoleum or columbarium. The Church does not allow the practice of scattering cremated remains on the sea, from the air, or on the ground, or of keeping cremated remains in the home of a relative or friend of the deceased. Such practices do not properly honor the dignity of the human body.
What is a “Memorial Mass”?
A “memorial Mass” is a funeral celebrated in those exceptional cases when it is not possible for the remains of the deceased, whether in a casket or an urn, to be present.
When may funerals take place?
Most often, funerals take place on Wednesday, Thursday, or Friday, usually in mid-morning. They may also be celebrated on a Saturday morning if no wedding is scheduled. Funeral Masses may not be celebrated on Sunday.
How are funerals scheduled?
Funerals are scheduled in consultation with the Pastor or another staff member. As far as possible, the needs and wishes of the family are given first consideration, although the availability of the pastor must also be taken into account.
Does the family of the deceased participate in the funeral?
Members of the family are encouraged to participate actively in the funeral. There are a number of ways for them to be involved. Some family members usually meet with the pastors to plan the funeral. Then, prior to the service, family members are present in the church to welcome friends to the celebration. They can also choose the pallbearers or even serve as pallbearers. They almost always place the funeral pall (a reminder of the white garment received at baptism) over the casket at the beginning of the liturgy. Family members can also proclaim the readings from the scriptures and present the gifts of bread and wine for the celebration of the Eucharist. In the case of a funeral when the cremated remains are present, family members usually carry the ossuary in the procession.
Are funerals celebrated for people who are not parishioners?
The long custom of the Catholic Church is for the deceased to be buried from his or her own parish church.
Are there policies regarding music for the funeral?
The funeral mass calls us to direct our attention to the promise of eternal life as Jesus proclaimed it. Therefore the music for Catholic funerals proclaims the Resurrection of our Lord and we use appropriate music from a Catholic hymnal. Other “favorite” songs or pop-tunes in general do not emphasize Jesus’ teaching about life after death. Therefore they are more appropriate for your reception. The music for the funeral is provided by the parish musicians. Once the funeral has been scheduled, the Music Director will contact a designated member of the family to choose appropriate musical selections. For more information regarding music for funerals, please click HERE.
Are eulogies ever permitted at funerals?
The priest or deacon who presides at the funeral will give a homily during the service. And while the homily differs from a eulogy, most homilists make the effort to speak in a personal way about the deceased and to relate the scripture readings to the life of the deceased. For this reason, and because many eulogies tend to be highly personal in nature and not in keeping with the prayerful nature of the funeral liturgy, the Church discourages the traditional funeral eulogy or suggests that, if one is to take place, it be given at the reception or even at the cemetery.
However, if circumstances indicate that a eulogy is appropriate, it is offered by a family member or friend at the end of the funeral service and should be no more than 500 words in length. We ask that the text of the eulogy be shared with the pastor at least 24 hours before the funeral. This is done in order to ensure the appropriateness of the remarks and to assist the presider who will not want to make statements in his homily that will later be repeated in the eulogy.
When does the burial take place?
When the body has been brought to the church, the burial usually takes place immediately after the funeral or, sometimes, after the reception. If cremation is to follow the funeral, the burial of the remains takes place some time later. A deacon, lay minister, or the priest who presided at the funeral leads the graveside service with family members and friends in attendance.
What is the practice with regard to Vigil celebrations and Rosaries?
In some cases, families choose to have a vigil for the deceased during the time following death and before the funeral liturgy. The vigil may be celebrated in the home of the deceased or in the funeral home. It may also be celebrated in the church, although scheduling problems in the parish frequently make this difficult if not impossible. Some families, because of the deceased member’s devotion to the Blessed Virgin Mary, choose to recite the rosary at this time. None of these vigil celebrations require the presence of a priest or deacon and can be led by family members. The pastor will be happy to furnish appropriate materials upon request.
Does the parish have space for a reception and how much does it cost?
Yes. Reception space is usually available at the parish, in the parish center (which accommodates about 250 standing). You will be provided detailed information about caterers and how receptions are handled. A fee of $150 helps to defray the cost of staff to do set-up and clean-up.
Are there fees involved with a funeral?
• There is no fee for the funeral Mass. Some families choose to make a memorial offering to the parish in honor of the deceased.
• There are fixed fees for music at the funeral: $200 for the Cantor, $200 for the organist. These fees are not optional since it is part of the agreement the parish has with its musicians who know and understand the customs of the parish and how we celebrate funerals. A complete fee schedule can be found at the end of this page.
• The three altar servers are given a stipend of $10-20 a piece.
Can other musicians participate at a funeral mass?
Other qualified musicians may participate either before the mass as a prelude or by doing a solo at a mutually agreeable time. This can be discussed with the Music Director when she reaches out to the contact person.
How is the funeral liturgy planned?
A normal Christian burial, as outlined in the Order of Christian Funerals, consists of three separate ceremonies: The Vigil Service (viewing and/or rosary), the Funeral Liturgy/Mass, and the Rite of Committal. Once a date is confirmed with Father, you will meet with the priest or another staff member. Call 206-283-1456 or email Father at pastor@OLFatima.org to schedule a time to meet. To ease the burden on the family and to ensure the sacredness and reverence of the Liturgy, the parish provides the Altar Servers, Sacristan, EMs, Musicians, and Priest – all of whom are specially trained to serve at Funeral Masses.
Three Sacred Moments
• Eulogy: The priest or deacon who presides at the funeral will give a homily during the service. And while the homily differs from a eulogy, most homilists make the effort to speak in a personal way about the deceased and to relate the scripture readings to the life of the deceased. For this reason, and because many eulogies tend to be highly personal in nature and not in keeping with the prayerful nature of the funeral liturgy, the Church discourages the traditional funeral eulogy or suggests that, if one is to take place, it be given at the reception or even at the cemetery. However, if circumstances indicate that a eulogy is appropriate, it is offered by a family member or friend at the end of the funeral service and should be no more than 500 words in length. The parish also requires that the text of the eulogy be shared with Father Raether or presiding priest at least 24 hours before the funeral. This is done in order to ensure the appropriateness of the remarks and to assist the presider who will not want to make statements in his homily that will later be repeated in the eulogy.
• Presence of the Body: It is the Church’s preference that the body of the deceased be present for the Funeral Liturgy. Cremation and proper committal should normally occur after the Funeral Mass; however, we offer funerals for both full body and cremation presentation. The Catholic Church’s Order for Christian Funerals states: “The Christian faithful are unequivocally confronted by the mystery of life and death when they are faced with the presence of the body of one who has died…The body was once washed in the waters of baptism, anointed with the oil of salvation, and fed with the Bread of life. The presence of the body brings forcefully to mind the Church’s conviction that the human body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, destined for future glory at the resurrection of the dead.”
• Committal Rite: Let Father Raether know at which cemetery the burial is to take place and at what time. The committal normally takes place right after the Funeral Mass or reception. “The Rite of Committal, the conclusion of the funeral rite, is the final act of the community of faith in caring for the body of its deceased member. It should normally be celebrated at the place of committal, that is, beside the open grave or place of interment. In committing the body to its resting place, the community expresses the hope that, with all those who have gone before us marked with the sign of faith, the deceased awaits the glory of the resurrection. The Rite of Committal is an expression of the communion that exists between the Church on earth and the Church in heaven: the deceased passes with the farewell prayers of the community of believers into the welcoming company of those who need faith no longer, but see God face-to-face.” (USCCB). It is customary to give a $150 honorarium to the minister presiding over the burial.
• Scripture Readings: The family may choose the First Reading from the Old Testament, the Second Reading from the New Testament, and the Gospel from the Order of Christian Funerals which we will provide to you at the funeral planning meeting. The Music Director will choose the Psalm as the cantor sings this with accompaniment. A Christian family member/friend or volunteer parish lector can proclaim the readings and the prayers of the faithful.
• Gift Bearing: The family has the option to choose two individuals who will be comfortable to bring up the gifts of bread and wine at the Offertory time of the Mass. They will be given instructions before the Mass. If you do not wish to have anyone bring up the gifts, the altar servers will present the gifts.
• Reception: Friends and family gather together to share memories and enjoy a simple meal. You will be provided detailed information about caterers and how receptions are handled.
A fee of $150 helps to defray the cost of staff to do set-up and clean-up.
Summary of Donations & Stipends
Parish Donation: It is customary to offer a donation to the parish usually in the form of a memorial offering usually $150-200. $10-20 for each Altar Service is also appropriate (3 servers total).
Reception Stipend: $150 for the facility
Music Stipends: $200 Organist/Pianist (Music Director: Sung Lee)
$200 additional stipend for a soloist
Priest: $250
Minister at the Cemetery: $150
To return to the top of the page click HERE.
For more information or to pre-plan for your funeral mass, please contact Father Phil Raether, 206.283.1456.
ADDITIONAL CONTENT